I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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