The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
