Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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