Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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