somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
