I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My vagina is officially offended.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
