I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
