Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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