sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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