he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
