that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
