go do what you do best...puke behind churches
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
