he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
