going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
