Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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