There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
