Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
