Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
