Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
