Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My penis needs a shock collar
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
