Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
