you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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