I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
