yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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