Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
