Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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