I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
