I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
