I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.