I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo