Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt