I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.