everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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