I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
