Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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