I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
