she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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