you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
