C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
