I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
