Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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