I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize