please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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