I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's Friday. Sex?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
