In the future we'll all be gay
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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