I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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