So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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