You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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