i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
