I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
