when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
