And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
