didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
