She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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