when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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