I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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