This house was built for laser tag.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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