My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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