I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize