The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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