How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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