I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
