i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
