i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
