Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
